(OR AS I CALL IT. I FOUND THIS ARTICLE ON CNN AND I JUST CAN’T HELP MY SELF I GOTTA KIBBUTZ BY JOHN MADER)
-- Attention, single dudes: Women want you to make them laugh.
(Yes, cause as we all know, young teenage girls have posters of comedians hanging on their bedroom walls.
What woman hasn’t pleasured her self before falling asleep to the thought of Robin Williams, George Lopez, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, Louis Black, Ellen Degeneres or even Kathy Griffith etc etc.
Infact, if you listen closely, you might be able to hear the faint sounds of post coital cooing as you read this
paragraph....who am I kidding comics are never sex symbols.
The one exception might be Dane Cook. But few people accuse Dane of being a comic except Dane. He is, how ever, pretty to look at, not a half bad physical performer, like a mime, and a hell of a self promoter. But a comic? Nawwwwwww!
So ladies, diddle all ya want but he don’t count.)
According to new research, women rate funny guys as more intelligent than guys who are not so funny. The research was presented this week at the British Psychological Society Annual Conference in Brighton, England.
(Leave it to the Brits to waste money researching something so obvious. Of course funny people are smarter. We spend our time pointing out the stunningly obvious, stupid, hypocritical, and of course ironic crap that every body else simply seem too stupid to notice…like this article.)
"Over the course of history, women actively look for signs that their man is intelligent, and I believe the ability to actively judge the situation and pull off a joke and make you laugh is an intelligent feat," said Kristofor McCarty, a
researcher at Northumbria University in Newcastle, England, and author of the study, in an e-mail.
(Just shows how little this poor, over educated, effite, acedemic snob understands about humor.
Humor is, by its very nature, subjective. The ability for one person to make another laugh is a combination of a myriad of factors like education, ethnicity, cultural background, religion, common points of intereast or most importantly, receptiveness of the laugher to hear what the laughee has to say.
In short, what one person finds funny some one else may not. The chick aint into you cause ya made
her laugh. She laughed cause she was into you.)
McCarty's study asked 35 heterosexual women aged 18 to 30 to rate various self-descriptions of
men, some funnier than others.
He invented the fictional lives of 10 men and then created a funny and not-so-funny vignette from each of their
perspectives. Then, participants read all 20 descriptions and rated them on qualities such as likeliness of friendship, likeliness of long-term relationship, honesty and intelligence.
One example the study designated as high-quality humor was this: "I was standing in a mental illness ward the
other day when I heard a doctor speaking to a new nurse on the ward. He was really giving her a telling-off, and his parting words were, 'And remember, when it's busy, don 't go around saying it's a madhouse,' " McCarty said.
(I know, I know. I’m thinking it too. It’s British humor. Just roll with it for the sake of the article...)
By contrast, a statement low on amusement was, "I was out skiing last year when I ended up slipping all the way down the mountain."
(That would be because falling down while sking is just clumsy and admitting it in public is just retarded. What woman wants to sleep with a clumsy retard?
Heaven forbid she gets knocked up because then her kids will probably be clumsy retards as well and they will get hit by the short bus that will take them to their “Special Ed” classes for clumsy retard kids.
SOOOO then her kids have died. And what mother wants that? All because she banged a guy that thought it was funny to admit he was a clumsy retard……no offense to the Special Olympics.)
To set a general standard of humor, McCarty did a preliminary study to test which jokes and humorous statements were the funniest on 35 females aged 18 to 30.
(Because 35 individual women in England are a great statistical sampeling of the roughly 3.3 Billion with a "B" females on the planet. Bear in mind these ladies thought the “Mad House” joke was funny….I digress.)
Women said the men with the funniest descriptions were significantly more likely to be candidates for long-term relationships, as well as friends. Participants also rated the more amusing men as more intelligent and honest.
(Key words in this paragraph “Friend” or as Sam Kinison termed it, “Emotional Tampon”. What man hasn’t been banished to the “Friend Zone” only to be the crutch while the chick bangs and breeds with some loser that abuses her? All the while she feels so close to you cause your "friends".
“Honest” is the other crock here, cause if that was true than women wouldn’t get pissed when we slip and accidently point out that those jeans make their ass look huge or the new hair cut makes them look less like a woman and more like a 12yr old boy.
Or why do woman ignore thier husbands marital indescretions knowing full well he lies to her about it?
Nope, honesty, is not attractive.)
Previous research in evolutionary psychology has indicated that for long-term mating, women value a man's likelihood of acquiring resources: for instance, someone likely to earn a good salary. That idea recalls the early days
of humans, when women relied on men's resources during childbearing years.
(Ummm where to start here? You modern, self sufficent, strong, liberated women should feel insulted at this point. He just called you all materialistic, codependent whores, that havent evolved beyond your knukle dragging, cave dwelling, baby spewing ancestors.
You should feel insulted. As a dude, I feel insulted for you.
As to the validity of the statement, well ya just gotta look inside your self and ask the hard
Oooohhh snap! I think I just found the answer to the whole cheating husband honesty thing!)
The study, though small in sample size, also relates to this model. A more intelligent person is less likely to
fall into traps, McCarty said, and may be more able to provide for a mate and children.
(A stunningly poor choice of words here. Today we have global economic problems because well educated, intelligent, in many case “Ivy League” educated, intelligent people ignored the well documented lessons of
the past and boned us all.
Pehaps a better term would be “common sense”. But we all know people that are book smart and by socities definition “Intelligent” that don’t have enough common sense to fill a dixie cup.
Coversely we all know folks with common sense that are routinely slighted, berated and passed up for promotion because they arent considered by the powers that be “intelligent” enough for a promotion to a
better pay scale.
We call these people “secretaries”.
Who is the better provider? Bernie Madhoff who is in jail and is singing in the all girls choir in jail...or shower.. or his secretary? Hmmmmmmm)
Given that laughing makes people feel better, it also makes sense evolutionarily that women would prefer men with a good sense of humor especially to help with the hardships of taking care of children, said Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and author of the recent book "Why Him? Why Her? Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type."
"People who have a good sense of humor may be likely to lighten up very bad situations and therefore reduce the stress response and simply enable you to get over the hump in bad parts of the relationship," said Fisher, who was not involved with McCarty's study.
(Having personally sent ballons to funerals that said “ Bon Voyage” and “Get Well Soon”…this just aint
It was damn funny and she… who ever she was at the time…and a number of my relatives didn’t think
Using humor to deal with stress is less about being able to make a person laugh, than it is about a person in a stressfull situation being able to be objective about it, finding the humor and allowing them selves to indulge in that coping mechinisim.
Any situation can be funny. And I do mean any. Even people in concentration camps found humor, albeit a very dark humor.
Simply put, if a person is in a bleak state of mind and they don’t wanna laugh, they won't.
It’s the same dynamic as she laughed because on some level shes already decided she likes you as opposed to she likes because you made her laugh.)
Humor also helps creativity, said Peter Derks, professor emeritus of psychology at the College of William and Mary in Virginia, who did not work on McCarty's study. The field of positive psychology -- which looks at well-being and happiness -- posits that humor leads to happiness and happiness leads to health, he said. This suggests
that humor does have some survival value as well.
(True. Fat, dumb, happy people do live longer. Because when youre happy ya wanna live to enjoy the things that make ya happy.
Unhappy people are unhealthy because they are depressed. Depressed people drink, take drugs, and generally abuse them selves Then they either die from cancer from all the self abuse or they commit
Give me a million bucks, a hot wife, and a mansion on the hill and I might live to be a hundred.
Tell me im gonna live on the street, get passed around like a cheap ciggarette by a pair of guys named Snake and Booger and sleep in an old refigerator and I might blow my brains out by next Tuesday.)
But humor is not used only in long-term sexual relationships, McCarty said. It plays an important role among friends and "also developed as a desired trait in friendship for social reasons," he said.
(We never hang out with people that think we are dicks do we? And we certainly don’t hang out with people that we find annoying.
Ooohhhh we may work with em, but we don’t drink with them.)
Do men also think funny women are more intelligent and honest? Time constraints prevented McCarty from exploring this question, but he said research suggests that men don't care much about women's sense of humor.
"A man wants a woman who laughs at his jokes and is not too bothered if his girl isn't funny at all," McCarty said.
On the other hand, Derks said, researchers have found that women who are good at being funny -- eliciting laughter -- are seen as positively as are funny men.
(Yes ladies, pander to our egos. Laugh at our jokes and lie to us in bed by telling us how great we are. We really are that simple.
If you are funny great! But that really ain’t why we are attracted to ya. Now roll over....
If this particular nugget was a news flash for any woman reading this than ya really have much bigger problems than the whole humor/attraction thing.
There is a reason why our penis is shaped like a leash. It leads us every where. If ya didn’t know that than ya musta just been in a coma since puberty.
If ya gotta be funny though an important distinciton needs to be made. Sarcastic and bitchy and funny and witty are not the same thing.
Had to be said. Sorry.)
Here's another tidbit from the British conference: Research indicates that "computer rage" -- including shouting at your computer and hitting the keyboard and mouse -- has become a common expression of anger and stress relief.
John Charlton of the University of Bolton, who presented at the conference, said these expressions were mostly linked to unsatisfactory work progress and time pressures.
(Wow! Stressed people sometimes snap. Do these people really get paid money to figure this stuff out?
Do you remember my point about the difference between “common sense” and what is defined as “intelligent”?
Well there ya